Ebrietas_Daughter of the Cosmos (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ebrietas_daughterofcosmos) wrote2024-09-02 10:39 pm
ebrietas_daughterofcosmos) wrote2024-09-02 10:39 pm
New Semester Begins
Well hello, you beautiful people.
I've been meaning to journal again, but I don't think I was in the right mental space to do so, as for a long time I found myself with nothing to say, despite the somewhat eventful summer I had.
However, before I continue, I must excuse myself, as I am a little drunk, just tipsy. Korea has this magic drink called "soju"; it is incredibly strong, tastes like ass (deadass like ethanol) but gets you drunk in no time. Three bottles and I am blacking out; five and I am dead. 10/10. I have had some bottles in my refrigerator for quite some time, maybe almost 9 months, so I decided to drink one. Good idea I suppose, as I am trying to fix my sleep schedule and being drunk + one of my magical sleeping pills is gonna get me fast asleep in no time.
I think it is funny that I am excusing myself, (I told you guys I am drunk because I might make a grammatical mistake and not realize), as if anyone is going to read this. I am sure there is a community still using this. I hope so. We have truly lost the vibe and energy early social media had, so I hope some people are keeping up with their own blogs and somewhat hidden profiles, having small yet close followings; being eearnest on their posts, without worrying that millions can possibly see their posts. (I did not experience early social media, but I have watched youtube videos about Snapewives and Ms. Scribe so its like I was there. But at the end of the day, no one is reading this.
Last time we talked I was being stupid. I stand by what I said. It feels like I have to learn Korean by osmosis, but instead of crying about it like a little bitch, I should have accepted my reality and start trying to soak up as much of the language as I could. After I finished mhy midterms and I wrote here I did that, and I succeeded. Funnily enough, I got the exam same grade in my final exam as in my midterm, but I felt like there was less randomness in my answers, as I understood way more.
I passed to level 3, thanks to doing very well in an interview, but I am still lacking on my listening skills a little bit. Thankfully, I have an entire semester to practice on my own and be ready for level 3 like I've never struggled once in my life.
During the few weeks I had to rest, I decided to not practice and just focus on playing video games, like the nerd I am. I had fun. I have so much fun by myself, playing video games, reading my sci-fi or horror novels. Unfortunately, I had this one *friend* who kept ruining things for me. He is not actually my friend, but he was at some point a romantic interest of mine. He is Chinese, can´t properly speak English, and is not even that cute. We went on a couple dates but I didn´t feel anything brewing so we just became friends. Turns out, though, that he really wished we became serious and still hopes to this day. He has told me, literally 24 hours ago, that he is obsessed with me.
It is exhausting to be the center of attention, honestly. He expects me to talk to him all the time. (he has issues, so he can´t be alone without feeling almost suicidal. Anywhere else that might be a red flag but he is Chinese so I kind of understand, there is a lot more emphasis on community over there) I have been clear that I do not like him the way he likes me, yet here we are. I should have stopped talking to him a while ago, but he is not that ugly, and I want to have sex sometimes, so I´ve kept contact with him. Moreover, he got into my university to study Spanish, so now he might be around, so I cannot just block him or something.
Such a shame, isn´t it? If only the men I liked were obsessed with me like this guy. But no. It is always the ones you do not like that pursue you. That´s the fate of love I suppose: always yearning for what you cannot get.
On other news, I stopped going to the gym like the pig I am, so I am a few kilograms fatter. But that is going to change. Now, every day I will go to the gym in the morning before my classes, and have a healthier lifestyle. Today was a success! Hopefully I can keep it up until forever. I do not have classes in the morning so I am lucky to get to sleep until 8:30, take my time in the morning, and go the gym when I have energy (instead of doing it afterwards, which was either horrible or I just didn´t do it because I was tired).
I am looking forward to this semester. It seems promoting for my Korean, my health, and my mental stability. Despite everything, I love life, even though I know I shouldn´t. Gaza is still burning, and the same thing is happening in West Bank now. The genocide never stops. And I am forced to watch Americans discuss their elections like voting for spring queen for prom... Disgusting vile creatures they are, debating over their own comfort, whilst millions of lives are assassinated under their watch. They should suffer what Palestinians have gone through.
Unfortunately, praying on the downfall of others, though cathartic, is not a real solution, so we remain powerless. Even Israelis are protesting their government now. Maybe Palestine will get to be free soon. If not, based on how little I could do for them, I feel like I should die too, I feel worthless if I cannot help those who truly need my help. I am a failure. A hack. Ready to debate on twitter, but powerless to change the international policies of my country. May my body be more useful than my sober actions ever were...
This journal entry is for Palestine. I am sorry. You did not deserve this. You guys were victims, ignored by the entire world. We should have done better to help you, and we failed. I am sorry. You guys believe in god more than I am, so I hope you guys can get some reassurance from the divine, but i want them to know that their fight is in me. And we will not forget you, no matter what happens. I am sorry.
From the river to the see, Palestine should be free.
I've been meaning to journal again, but I don't think I was in the right mental space to do so, as for a long time I found myself with nothing to say, despite the somewhat eventful summer I had.
However, before I continue, I must excuse myself, as I am a little drunk, just tipsy. Korea has this magic drink called "soju"; it is incredibly strong, tastes like ass (deadass like ethanol) but gets you drunk in no time. Three bottles and I am blacking out; five and I am dead. 10/10. I have had some bottles in my refrigerator for quite some time, maybe almost 9 months, so I decided to drink one. Good idea I suppose, as I am trying to fix my sleep schedule and being drunk + one of my magical sleeping pills is gonna get me fast asleep in no time.
I think it is funny that I am excusing myself, (I told you guys I am drunk because I might make a grammatical mistake and not realize), as if anyone is going to read this. I am sure there is a community still using this. I hope so. We have truly lost the vibe and energy early social media had, so I hope some people are keeping up with their own blogs and somewhat hidden profiles, having small yet close followings; being eearnest on their posts, without worrying that millions can possibly see their posts. (I did not experience early social media, but I have watched youtube videos about Snapewives and Ms. Scribe so its like I was there. But at the end of the day, no one is reading this.
Last time we talked I was being stupid. I stand by what I said. It feels like I have to learn Korean by osmosis, but instead of crying about it like a little bitch, I should have accepted my reality and start trying to soak up as much of the language as I could. After I finished mhy midterms and I wrote here I did that, and I succeeded. Funnily enough, I got the exam same grade in my final exam as in my midterm, but I felt like there was less randomness in my answers, as I understood way more.
I passed to level 3, thanks to doing very well in an interview, but I am still lacking on my listening skills a little bit. Thankfully, I have an entire semester to practice on my own and be ready for level 3 like I've never struggled once in my life.
During the few weeks I had to rest, I decided to not practice and just focus on playing video games, like the nerd I am. I had fun. I have so much fun by myself, playing video games, reading my sci-fi or horror novels. Unfortunately, I had this one *friend* who kept ruining things for me. He is not actually my friend, but he was at some point a romantic interest of mine. He is Chinese, can´t properly speak English, and is not even that cute. We went on a couple dates but I didn´t feel anything brewing so we just became friends. Turns out, though, that he really wished we became serious and still hopes to this day. He has told me, literally 24 hours ago, that he is obsessed with me.
It is exhausting to be the center of attention, honestly. He expects me to talk to him all the time. (he has issues, so he can´t be alone without feeling almost suicidal. Anywhere else that might be a red flag but he is Chinese so I kind of understand, there is a lot more emphasis on community over there) I have been clear that I do not like him the way he likes me, yet here we are. I should have stopped talking to him a while ago, but he is not that ugly, and I want to have sex sometimes, so I´ve kept contact with him. Moreover, he got into my university to study Spanish, so now he might be around, so I cannot just block him or something.
Such a shame, isn´t it? If only the men I liked were obsessed with me like this guy. But no. It is always the ones you do not like that pursue you. That´s the fate of love I suppose: always yearning for what you cannot get.
On other news, I stopped going to the gym like the pig I am, so I am a few kilograms fatter. But that is going to change. Now, every day I will go to the gym in the morning before my classes, and have a healthier lifestyle. Today was a success! Hopefully I can keep it up until forever. I do not have classes in the morning so I am lucky to get to sleep until 8:30, take my time in the morning, and go the gym when I have energy (instead of doing it afterwards, which was either horrible or I just didn´t do it because I was tired).
I am looking forward to this semester. It seems promoting for my Korean, my health, and my mental stability. Despite everything, I love life, even though I know I shouldn´t. Gaza is still burning, and the same thing is happening in West Bank now. The genocide never stops. And I am forced to watch Americans discuss their elections like voting for spring queen for prom... Disgusting vile creatures they are, debating over their own comfort, whilst millions of lives are assassinated under their watch. They should suffer what Palestinians have gone through.
Unfortunately, praying on the downfall of others, though cathartic, is not a real solution, so we remain powerless. Even Israelis are protesting their government now. Maybe Palestine will get to be free soon. If not, based on how little I could do for them, I feel like I should die too, I feel worthless if I cannot help those who truly need my help. I am a failure. A hack. Ready to debate on twitter, but powerless to change the international policies of my country. May my body be more useful than my sober actions ever were...
This journal entry is for Palestine. I am sorry. You did not deserve this. You guys were victims, ignored by the entire world. We should have done better to help you, and we failed. I am sorry. You guys believe in god more than I am, so I hope you guys can get some reassurance from the divine, but i want them to know that their fight is in me. And we will not forget you, no matter what happens. I am sorry.
From the river to the see, Palestine should be free.